Question: as children how many of you were tagged a cruel, unkind nickname by your peers? A tag that grew out of something that was part of your physical features or personality? I was watching The King’s Speech last night (starring the lovely Mr Darcy) and felt impotently enraged when the infatuated-with-Wallis, new king Edward VIII spitefully taunts his well-meaning younger brother "B..B..Bertie" in the way that the Darcy character was often heartlessly ridiculed as a child for his painful stammer.
As a child, and even later in my teens and early to mid adulthood, I was often ruthlessly ragged for my quiet personality. I remember once in high school when we were doing Treasure Island in English class and the teacher was reading the passage about Captain Bones which went “He was a very silent man by custom…” She looked around the room and asked, “And who is that like?” and everyone went, “Zualteii!” and laughed. "Zual-tawng-duh-i", "Zual-kam-tam-i", "Zual-ngawi-reng-i." I hated gibes like that. I’d put on a forced smile but feel like dying of humiliation inside.
Name-tags are hilariously funny for the people calling them. Usually based on some aspect of the victim, admittedly they can be extremely clever and witty. But for the victim, since it’s based on some part of his/her personal make-up, it can be hurtful and distressing. Especially more so for shy, timid introverts with shaky self-esteem. I know, I’ve been there. The more self-assured ones take it with aplomb, flinging back something wittier and funnier, or even counter-attacking so sharply the teasers back off in a hurry. The less fortunate cringe and helplessly bear the brunt of childish/adolescent malice and insensitivity.
Happily, most of us grow up both physically and mentally. Life experiences help us outgrow our gauche ineptitude. We learn to know ourselves better, our strengths and weaknesses, to look out for ourselves, to grow thicker skins. We pick up self-defence mechanisms and social graces and how to smoothen away an awkward moment. We even learn to take a slight and deflect it into a joke, laughing at ourselves along with everyone else.
But every once in a while, an unexpected name-tag put-down still comes out of nowhere and gets you in the solar plexus. Ouch, some things never change.
I don't know if you can put this down as a name tag but when I was a kid in Mary Mount my pals used to call me "Samosa" (my name being Amosa..) and I used to tolerate it since they were my friends but I hated being called Samosa. And then one day (I can even remember who it was) Mathara (Kulikawn Dr.Mathara) called me Samosa because he heard the other kids calling me Samosa and I got sooo mad I uttered a blood curdling war cry and charged at him with the intention of knocking the lights out of him but Sister Christita who happened to be in the immediate vicinity preemptively quelled our war over name calling.
ReplyDeleteDown the years I've been called worse names than Samosa but nothing rankles as much as that moment 25 years ago when I was called a samosa.
Don't remind me. The more quiet you are the more names you are called. I think that is the universal law.
ReplyDeleteThe only name tags that I liked and still like are the ones that you put in your clothes. I don't know if you still remember that all our clothes had to be name tagged. I still have a whole lot of those name tags. And I still get my shirts name tagged.
Samosa, that's cute! Of course if your name is Amosa, it would be pretty insulting so I can wholeheartedly relate to your blood curdling war cry.
ReplyDeleteFunny thing is when I was writing this update last night, I realised that a lot of people have gone through all this. They've also had to put up with being called Fatty, Piggy, Skinny, Shorty, whatever, and all the bad names in Mizo - Nuthlawi, Pathlawi, etc etc. Kinda therapeutic post this for me. Btw, Sister Christita, eh? Cute name for a nun :p
Loch, guess us quiet ones don't retaliate which makes us more easily victimised. Vicious circle. As adults we can disabuse our abusers, but as little kids, we just learn to live with the hurt. And you still have name tags? Lol that's a nice tradition :)
During my High School I've been called Bruce because of that Legend Bruce Lee. Because of my thin figure and my facecut.. etc etc.. they think that I look like Bruce Lee :-( I don't like that name.. Some people even thought that was my real name.
ReplyDeleteColin Firth as Mr. Darcy :D You too? hehe.
ReplyDeleteWhile I havent been called names in school (or maybe I was and I was having too fun a time to realise it), my sisters and I like to call each other horrendous names like "Thring-champ" and "Phungi" but when their hubbies started calling me those too, I got pretty offended. I suppose a lot depends on who's doing the calling :-/
I don't ever remember being name tagged. At school we would call each other by our full names (Angela Lalramdini, K. Vanlalruati etc)and I never minded being called by my full name. But my nickname being Aduhi I hate it when people create their own nicknames and call me Maduh, Duhte arrrghh and there was this girl in Class 8 who insisted on calling me "Mazualte". I don't know where that came from hihihi.. But being the finicky person I am, I heartily accept all the strange nicknames my close friends and family gave me and happily responded to them.
ReplyDeleteAlej, hehe you hate being called Bruce but for some, it would be an honour! But I do understand, being called names that are meant to provoke us can be plain insulting.
ReplyDeleteku2, yes, Mr Darcy *drool* And I can just imagine how you'd feel being called those names by people outside the charmed circle, so to speak. Yeah, there are affectionate nicknames which sound over-familiar and even downright rude when used by others.
ambs, Mazualte? Ve ringawt dawn a tiraw, haha. Sometimes I get called by one of my sisters' names and while I used to get a bit annoyed, now I do it myself sometimes when I just can't remember a person's name. Even been guilty of calling a couple of kids by their parents' names because I couldn't recall theirs. Not nice, I know, but well...
vai treacher vang in zammawia hi zam as in nervous tih in tun thlenga min ko an la awm, ka hming inti hre tawk in..lolzzzz zam is in pangpar zam tur hi hahaha ....chuan zama hi vai thenkhat senior ten pyjama min tih vang in ka thin a rim thei hle :D ...my dad shoulda named me Dylan...or Fidel columbus ka pian khan zzzzlolzz
ReplyDeleteYeah, nametags can be so devastating when you're shy and diffident. It's one of those instances of 'cruelty against humans.'
ReplyDeleteDevastating is the precise word, mesjay. Life is hard enough when you're shy and unsure without that cruel bullying by your peers.
ReplyDeleteLol fonz, han sawi tliar² chuan mi min koh dan vel hi a ho in a nuihzathlak duh tiraw? Mahse in deusawhna anih hi chuan kan haw hlur a, a huatthlala duh ve em bawk a. Han sawi chhuah a han share te pawh hei a lo tha anih hi, midang pawhin tiang hi an lo tawng ve thin tih hriat chuan rilru na pawh a dam ve deuh alom. Plus some of the poisonous sting goes away when you talk about things like this in a sympathetic setting :)
ReplyDeleteHming nei sei deuh te phei hi chuan kan hming hi an sawisa nasa thin a sin. Kan Professor nu pakhat hian "Malaswamy" min ti, ""Malsan"... Anyways ka rawn sawi tum chu "Zualtehmeltha" how does it sound? I ziak fu kher mai tun tum chu a ngaihnawm reuh.
ReplyDelete"tun tum chu a ngaihnawm reuh" Hmph, Tawmte, ka lawm miah lo waaa-aah :( lol. Thil i ziah hian i hmanhmawh lutuk thin a i in express uluk lo thin ka tih che kha. Write slowly, sir, think out your words carefully and revise. Nih loh chuan Malsan ka ti ve ang che :D
ReplyDeletelolz ka chunga mi te 2 khi in fak e tilo chuan an insual tep in ka hria!
ReplyDeleteYeah, name tags can be traumatic. I was lucky not to have one (that I know of) growing up, but I do recall some kids in my class whose tags stuck to them.
On a lighter note, Dawrpui veng has so many Pu Hmingas that they are variously known as Hming-thawvenga, Hming-roia, Hming-kumara etc. When I was a kid, the convent sisters called me "La-lun-siri" and my sister called me that everytime she wanted to annoy me.
Off topic: isn't it strange that the 'sisters' in convent school never bother to learn the correct pronunciation of names? Hey, sister Christita taught me too @Amos
Lol missy, Sir hi chu zilh a ngai thin alom. A rilru leh ngaihtuahna hian a thu ziah lai hi a tlan san zeuh zeuh thin a. A tlangval hunah phei chuan a la ziak thiam ngawt ang! :)
ReplyDeleteYou're lucky you were never tagged. My sisters weren't either, at least not that I can remember. And imagine being known as Hming-thawvenga :D Woops, I thought it was Sister Christina and Mossy had made a typo there. And Mizo names are such lengthy tongue-twisters, maybe the sisters just decide not to even try! Way back when I was around 10 or 11, I didn't even know how to spell my full name Hmangaihzuali :(