Memories Don't Leave Like People Do

To keep or not to keep? A diary, that is. I picked up the habit from both my parents who always kept tiny little plastic coated affairs which fit into the palm of the hand and which took in only just a few lines of really important things that happened to them daily. I was about 8 or 9 when I first started keeping diaries and I still have stacks of them tucked dustily away in a high compartment of my wardrobe. Since the last ten years or so though, I haven't really been writing as I used to. Sure I still buy a diary every January as I did today but the entries are now pretty few and far between. Last year's had just a single entry dated the 4th Jan. Maybe I then misplaced the book all year long :P

But old journals are actually great fun to read. When I dig into mine I get caught up for hours on end, reliving fabulously happy days, squirming through painful or embarrassing moments, cringing at my furious ravings and rantings, reading details of the past that have since completely slipped out of my memory (and Lord knows that's something I'm having more and more trouble with as time goes on). Sometimes I want to slap myself for the whining asinine idiot that I was, never looking beyond myself, my problems and my comfort zone, and other times I marvel at how smartmouthedly I wrote, but most times I just sit and laugh my head off at the memories the pages evoke.


A few choice excerpts:

From my schooldays at Mount Hermon, Darj - "27th March, Dear Diary, We had such a lot of free periods. History, Clubs & English. During Clubs, since Jariy, Asha, Pornarrin, Engzam & I are the only ones in Miss Russell's club, we just went for a long walk through the woods by ourselves - that is only five of us. We had a lovely time but I wish someone had come and kidnapped us. (ack did I seriously write that?!) Today was Brian's birthday (can't for the life of me remember who Brian was). Goodbye."

"31 March, Dear Diary, Today is Doris' birthday. Last night we were going to have a midnight feast but Mrs Bond (our new very not-with-it dorm matron) came and so we left everything - already served and fled. She's very suspicious! We had a picnic by a waterfall. Only Louise, Sasi, Awon, Twe, Rothang, Helen, Doris, Puii and I. We had a lovely time and at night, Doris gave us a piece of her birthday cake. Good night."

From my University days in Shillong - "Saturday: Bath, shampoo. The girls practised the Pangpar lam first thing in the morning. That looks easy enough - not so Solakia! Sharon (my Hmar roommate for a semester) insisted that I go with her to the Hmar Sikpui Ruai somewhere in the wilds of Happy Valley so I rather reluctantly went. As it turned out I knew absolutely no one there and sitting it out out there in the cold open air all day gave me a real big cold. After dinner went to the Varsity Cultural Nite. Great fun. The place was absolutely packed. Back by 9.

Sunday: Got an ENORMOUS kingsized cold. Damn Sharon for dragging me out to her lousy picnic yesterday. I feel absolutely terrible what with blowing my goddamned nose every 2 minutes - yeesh, don't even have enough clean hankies, shit. Spent the entire day here listening to music. Afternoon, sent Binda (the hostel chowkidar) out to buy me chicken fried rice & ate it clean. Evening P, M & V came."


A couple of years later after I'd landed a teaching job - "Back to the slog. The 1st BA & BSc classes open. We're opening Elective English & I'm supposed to take Fiction - Wuthering Heights, Robinson Crusoe etc. Yucky prospect. How the hell am I supposed to teach others in turn when I don't even feel quite up to reading the damn things myself?! Mark Twain was dead right when he said - A classic is something that everyone praises but nobody reads - sth to that effect anyway. Who wants to bury yourself in bone dry prose when the world is zooming past. Damned bulb's bombed out and I'm writing all this dry unromantic stuff in romantic candlelight."

Just shortly before my older sister was to get married - "June 17, New chap came in yesterday. Since Hp's leaving for good, we need someone to run the house during the hours we're all at work. I suppose we do need maids - male or otherwise but I don't really dig having strangers staying in the house. Especially corny folk who munch food noisily - yucks. It makes me want to puke all over the table."

LMWAO!! Pure entertainment. Gotta say this for these old diaries....

Memories don't leave like people do.
They always stay with you
Whether they've been good or bad
They leave you something glad behind
People take all of your time
They walk out of your life
And then they hurt you
But a memory would never be that unkind
Claim to be your friend and then desert you..